Jay Leno Quotes

And now here's a very small sample of my many favourite Jay Leno quotes. From his monologue:

"President Bush gave his State of the Union speech earlier tonight. Or as they call that on ABC, Dancing with the Issues."

"Do you know who gave the longest State of the Union address ever? Bill Clinton. Do you know who gave the shortest? George Washington. Just a couple of minutes. Well, sure. When a politician can't tell a lie it limits how much they can say."

"In a series of TV interviews this morning Hillary Clinton said her favorite movie as a little girl was The Wizard of Oz. Her favorite movie in college was Casablanca. And then after she got married her favorite? Kill Bill."

"Beginning today citizens of the United States will be required to show passports when re-entering the country from Mexico. Mexican citizens of course will still be allowed to use the hole in the fence."

"There's now a bill in the California legislature to ban spanking. And ironically you know what the punishment is for first time offenders? A slap on the wrist."

"MSNBC is reporting that no one has yet seen a picture of Britney Spears's new son...the theory is she's waiting to drive up the price when she sells the pictures. Either that or she just forgot where she left the kid."